Choosing Love

February is often associated with Valentine’s Day, but it’s also a powerful reminder of the importance of fostering love in our homes.

For many parents, the idea of love as a parenting approach might feel unfamiliar, especially if they were raised in a fear-based environment. Yet, as Dr. Liza Braden reminds us, “Parents have the power to break generational cycles by creating spaces of love, affirmation, and connection.” It’s never too late to make the shift toward creating a nurturing, loving space for your children—one where connection, trust, and respect thrive.

This month also marks Black History Month, an opportunity to honor the rich history of Black communities. The idea of love and inclusivity can guide us toward building stronger, more compassionate families.

From Fear to Love

If you were raised in a home where fear—rather than love—was the primary tool for discipline and connection, you’re not alone. How many times did you hear, “because I said so”? Many parents carry forward patterns of parenting they experienced, even if they wish to break the cycle. Fear-based environments often rely on control, punishment, and criticism, which can stifle a child’s confidence and emotional growth.

However, parenting with love focuses on encouragement, empathy, and mutual respect. Dr. Gloria Boutte emphasizes that “love is at the core of culturally responsive teaching and parenting.” Parenting with love helps children see themselves as valued. Children raised in loving environments are more likely to develop emotional resilience, a strong sense of self-worth, and positive relationships with others (Gottman & Declaire, 1997). Shifting to a love-based approach may take time, but small, consistent actions can create meaningful change.

One way to begin is by incorporating affirmations into your daily routine, a simple yet powerful tool to remind your child of their inherent worth.

Activity: Heartfelt Affirmations for Your Child

This February, engage in an activity that celebrates love while building your child’s confidence. Leave daily affirmations for them on heart-shaped notes to create a culture of positivity and encouragement in your home.

Materials:

• Colored paper or cardstock (red, pink, white, or any color your child loves)

• Scissors

• Markers, pens, or crayons

• Tape or string (optional)

• Alternative: Use heart-shaped sticky notes for added convenience.

Instructions:

1. Cut Out Heart Shapes: Use the paper to cut out heart shapes. If you have younger children, invite them to help with the cutting.

2. Write Affirmations: On each heart, write a positive affirmation or encouraging note for your child. Some examples:

• “You are so creative and full of great ideas.”

• “Your kindness makes others smile.”

• “You are brave when you try new things.”

• “You are loved just as you are.”

3. Display the Hearts: Tape one heart to their bedroom door, place it in their lunchbox, or leave it on their pillow each day. You can also hang the hearts on a string to create a “love garland” that grows throughout February.

This activity not only reminds your child of your unconditional love but also models how to affirm others.

BHM: Rooted in Love

Let this February be the beginning of a new chapter—a home rooted in love, affirmation, and appreciation for everyone- no matter their age or race.

While February is a time for love, it’s also an essential time to celebrate Black History Month. Teaching children about Black history helps them appreciate diversity and the strength of love and resilience within Black communities. It’s also a chance to raise awareness about equity, justice, and inclusion.

Ways to Celebrate:

• Read Together: One of my favorite children’s books by a Black author, Bedtime Bonnet by Nancy Redd, celebrates Black family traditions and love.

• Explore Art and Music

• Learn About Change-Makers: renowned and locally.

• Support Black-Owned Businesses.

Legacy, legacy, legacy

February reminds us that love is a choice we make daily. Love is our legacy. As Maya Angelou said, “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” I’d love to hear from you. Please join the conversation in the chat.

References:

• Braden, Liza. “The Power of Affirmation and Connection in Parenting.” Journal of Family and Cultural Development, 2020.

• Boutte, Gloria Swindler. Culturally Relevant Pedagogy: Building Equity Through Love. Routledge, 2016.

• Gottman, John, & Declaire, Joan. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. Simon & Schuster, 1997.

• Redd, Nancy. Bedtime Bonnet. Random House Studio, 2020.

• Angelou, Maya. Collected Poems of Maya Angelou. Random House, 1994.